If your answer is a heartfelt ‘yes’ let’s explore together how we can get rid of these negative thought patterns and move forward full of gratitude, faith and enthusiasm and start attracting the right people and things in our lives.
Now I use to be, at times still can be an old pro, falling into that trap where I am overthinking, overanalysing and replaying scenes in my head wondering what I did do wrong. To follow it up with giving myself a nasty telling off. Resulting in feeling even more crappy about me, my confidence levels to drop drastically and anxiety levels to sky rocked.
Yet creating another situation to start second guessing myself and wondering where it all went wrong. Voila here we have a perfect but totally worthless vicious circle. A vicious circle that stopped me from feeling good and work effectively to achieve my goals.
“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listing”
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Lets take a few steps back and look at this closely as outsiders, without any feelings or expectations. I believe you will agree when I say talking to yourself in any negative way is of no use what so ever. In fact it’s the no1 killer for your happiness, confidence and personal development. You wouldn’t talk like that to your child or spouse, would you? Then why do you think its acceptable to be so harsh on you?
Now there is nothing wrong with being a little critical at times and taking stock in order to be a better you then you were yesterday. However negative deep routed core beliefs and harmful habitual thought patterns are detrimental if you want to be a happier you and are working on achieving your goals.
Yes these core believes are hard to change as they have been formed by our genetic make up, life experiences and by observing others. By taking some time out to examine and identify your own train of thoughts, replacing the negative ones with healthy ones full of love and encouragement, you will be surprised how much better you will start to feel in your own skin and will be able to create a life you truly love living.
“Make one of your core beliefs that belief itself
is a choice that can be made of your own free will”
What can we do to banish being harmfully self-critical?
Negative core thoughts and self believes are often themed and automatic. We have these without even realising it. It’s like a radio station playing that same annoying tune in the background. I decided a while back for one week to write down my self-critical thoughts. Yep it was a pretty miserable week! Thoughts from “I am such a failure”and ‘I am not good enough”to top it off with constantly telling myself ‘I looked a total mess’.
Not exactly a healthy place in my head whilst I was working so hard to leave my old life behind and start living the life I really wanted. As a consequence I made some conscious changes I like to share with you, which hopefully might benefit you too if your inner voice is giving you grieve.
❤️Start by being patient with yourself – nothing in nature blooms all year after all. So why should you? Take that pressure off and teach yourself to let go.
❤️ 1 mins of meditation a day and positive affirmations are definitely the way forward. The internet is full of both – all at a click of a button and in the comfort of your own home. There is really no excuse to not start replacing those discouraging and unloving thoughts, which in the end will only hold you back and making you feel miserable.
❤️Begin to notice and separate your inner critic from you. Give it a good telling off and then replace it with a positive inner voice. An inner voice which is reassuring, encouraging and stimulating but above all kind.
“You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy – choose wisely”
What’s stopping you achieving your goals?
Okay all great you started chatting to yourself like you are your own bff but what else could be stopping you from achieving your goals and feeling on top of the world.
If you are not quite sure how to answer this I will try help you find your answer right here and now. It might be: perfectionism; fear of failure; just focusing on the end result; running before your can crawl; excuses; procrastination; high expectations; distractions or a lack of consistency. I have been, at times still can be, guilty of all these.
I never said it would be a walk in the park feeling more full filled and create a life you are satisfied with. But you know what, I have learnt by being a bit kinder to myself and tackling the obstacles I create myself, the small wins of each day slowly started to nicely mount up. Am I there yet? Hell no, but we are all a work in progress. These days I just try and enjoy my journey without beating myself up. Some days are victorious. Others a lot more challenging but that’s okay too.
“Often we become so focussed on the finish line –
that’s when we fail to enjoy the journey and see how far we have come”
Are ready to get rid of your negative self- talk and stop second guessing yourself?
If you are, which pleases me greatly, tell your inner voice from me that you are enough and not to wait for everything to be perfect before you decide to enjoy your life.
Be kind always,