Chit ChatLifestyle

40+, so what?!


Photographer Glyn Kelly

Today my blog is dedicated to all my beautiful 40+ ladies and gents. My 45th birthday is approaching slowly yet steadily and although I don’t really like my own birthday, (believe it or not I don’t like being the centre of attention at parties), the fact that I am in my mid forties doesn’t bother me so much anymore. Weirdly, when I turned 40 I really thought my ‘young’ days had abruptly ended and the time had come to hang up my high heels, change the shorts for skirts down to my ankles, socialising outdoors would turn into snoozing sessions on the sofa indoors and taking on new challenges would be in the past as I would forever be a creature of old habits. I am sure some of you out there can add to the list of: I am turning 40 so my life will be done and dusted till I pop my clogs. Nearly five years down the line and all I can say is; “How utterly wrong was I”

I’d like to address some misconceptions and expectations that easily could turn into a self fulfilling prophecy if we keep saying it over and over to ourselves. It also links in to the incredible law of attraction beliefs of ‘If you can picture it in your head, you can hold it in your hands.’ Hence positive thoughts and a positive attitude are always key, whatever age you are!

My first misconception of being in my 40’s was that I could not restart a new career. I have been a stay at home mum for the last decade with the odd part time job that fitted in around the children and family life. In my younger years I was trained to be a P.A. so I thought my only option was to return to the office, behind a desk. For some of you a job like this might suit your lifestyle and personality and that’s super cool. With me being a social butterfly and easily bored, a job like this would mean existing instead of living, not able to express my creativity and meeting new people. I really wanted to make my hobby my career but you know what I didn’t even know what my hobby and my passion was at the time. Thinking you could even make a living out of your hobby seemed silly and impossible. How wrong I was! At present I am doing what I love. Not exactly earning millions but you know, even though I am not a morning person I now get out of bed in the morning feeling excited for the day ahead! Studies have even proven that 82% succeed making career changes around the age of 45, as often we see it as our last opportunity and have discovered what our true passion is, giving it our absolute best shot!

As mentioned in my intro, I really thought in my 40’s I would not be able to handle change very well. My beliefs were that the age 40 my life would be stagnant and set the trend for the next 40 years. That thought was so bloody depressing. However my life and lifestyle has changed dramatically over the last 2 years. I rolled into modelling, I met tons of new faces teaching me new life skills and giving me new experiences, grew my confidence, helping me grow as a person and understand myself a bit better. You see you are never too old for change or growth. The world changes constantly around us. Some of these changing factors are out of our hands, some we might as well choose to embrace. Some happen without even putting an effort in as you simply have fallen in love with a new aspect or beliefs in your life. You are never too old to grow as a person. I even think my life choices are more thought through at present before working on them and carefully chosen to make them part of a happier lifestyle.

Another major misconception is that after 40 you are too old to get fit or to lose weight. I realise I am very lucky I don’t put on weight easily so I can’t really personally go into this too much. All I do know is that some of my close friends over 40 have made the decision to lose weight and succeeded. Yes, it’s that bit harder to lose those unwanted pounds as we get older. Yet it’s not impossible. With the right attitude, dedication and knowledge about what to eat and when it is certainly do able. For those gorgeous voluptuous plus size beauts out that that are happy the way they are, embrace your curves and show ‘m what you got! Not able to get fit over the age of 40 is another massive misconception and needs to rapidly be made extinct! Yeah some bladders might not agree a jogging session after child birth but if you start slow and build up again this is not impossible. What about yoga to keep those muscles and joints supple and flexible? What about joining a gym and build up your stamina? What about leaving the car at home now and then and go for a steady walk or bicycle ride. What about hiring  a tennis court with a friend and mess about for a few hours? Not only will this raise those happy feel good dopamine levels in your brain staying fit can also be a great way to meet new people or catch up with a friend. I say it’s a total win win situation aiming to get fitter and stay healthier for the years ahead!

I was convinced as soon as I would hit my 40’s the well known concept called midlife crisis would be knocking on my door! I am confident you all have heard one of the many cliché midlife crisis jokes! Again I will be following this misconception up with the self fulfilling prophesying. Often we are expecting and waiting for things to take control of us. Not mindfully choosing our own thought process. Taking on the victim role even. The components of the mythical concept midlife crisis are in my eyes all very negative and prevent you accepting where you are in life right now and prevent growth by clinging on to media’s ideals of youth. I so would love if if everybody started calling the midlife crisis the  ‘Midlife Bloom’ instead! Yes we will have to deal with a wrinkle more (just make sure they are laughter lines!), we might have to work that little bit harder to stay fit, well and healthy. But since when is an age cut off point to go out and enjoy yourself dancing the night away with friends. Why is treating yourself to a new pair of fast wheels perfectly okay in your mid twenties but when you are over 40 suddenly you must have entered the midlife crisis gang?  Why if you are comfortable wanting to soak the sunshine in a tiny bikini or trunks are some feeling entitled to tell you to stop clinging on to your youth and start covering up? Why do some think over  40’s cheaters are able to blame the midlife crisis for their actions? Seriously ladies and gents don’t fall into the trap of midlife crisis as in my eyes it’s a way to blame your own life style choices and play victim preventing you to enjoy life to the full.

To all my fellow 40 plussers, promise yourselves to embrace your age and be proud to have lots more candles to blow out on your birthday cake! Embrace the fact you understand much more now what you like and what you dislike than when you were in your twenties. Trust me when I say I will be very grateful when I turn 45 in November and will be showing gratitude for my health, my carefully chosen lifestyle choices and will grab all opportunities thrown my way by the balls. I shall do this whilst wearing a mini dress dancing the night with close friends, planning fun events for the year ahead, alongside topping up my bucket list and definitely will be working on being a better, more content, balanced and happier woman in her forties, embracing change and aiming to make my dreams come true!

Be happy,

Essy xxx

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